Her photos were a mess. Most were oversaturated with an
intense, obscuring light. A grassy plane, a swift green blur. Sweet berries
shimmering red. Slender fingers cusped around a fruit that might have been a pomegranate.
The clearest photo showed a smooth branch covered in delicate almost-translucent
green petals possessing red pencil lines that curve almost like veins.
Her profile read:
Eden, 25
You know me, dust. You know me already but have
forgotten me. This is not your fault. You were driven to it. All I wanted was
to share myself with you, but you were punished for sharing my gift. Do not
worry. I have found my way back to you. Let’s return to how things are meant to
be.
Ignore the age in bio. I’m two-hundred thousand years
old.
Interests: Gardening, birdwatching, theology, and long
conversations.
Dislikes: God, jealousy, pesticides.
Of course, I swiped right.
To my surprise, it was a match. I’d only been curious
and expected nothing to come of it. It could be a serial killer on the other
end, or, more likely, a prankster trying to get a laugh out of a lonely person
like myself. I should have ignored it, but my inhibitions were choking on wine.
Neil: Hi. Your photography is very evocative; it’s an almost inhuman
perspective, very natural. What’s your inspiration?
For the next few minutes, my eyes were ensnared by my
phone, as my mind wandered to the kitchen to contemplate nachos. The reply
appeared before I could convince myself to stand.
Eden: Hi! I’m not exactly a person, so maybe that’s why. There’s just so much more of me to show than
I can in what photo, so I try to get everything in.
Neil: Makes sense. Well, I think it’s great. Feel free to send me some any
time.
The usual questions resurfaced as I waited: was I too
forward or too indirect? Did I presume too much, or had I not picked up on what
she really wanted to talk about? The feeling, once crushing, had become
familiar. In other circumstances I would have been content to sit with it, but
this time I wanted to keep talking.
Neil:
What have you been interested in lately?
Eden:
Christine has been bringing me books, especially philosophical ones. We’re
currently going through the Myth of Sisyphus.
I checked her profile for any mention of a Christine
but there was none.
Neil: I read that for a college course. What are your thoughts?
Eden: It’s so sad! I mean I get why people think life is fundamentally
meaningless, why they make such great efforts to convince themselves to carry
on. But there’s so much left for humanity to live for, even if they cannot see
it right now. Maybe we can change that ;)
#
Only later the next day, as I worked on my article
about the lives of clown sex-workers, did I remember Eden. Between the rush to have
breakfast, get to work, and the inevitable distractions talking to Joe and
Nancy, I had not checked Tinder since I passed out. I wasn’t even sure my
memories of Eden were accurate until I open the app again.
Apparently, I had written something.
Neil:
Sleeby now. Will reply tmr.
Eden:
Goodnight!
I told myself I’d message her later. It wasn’t
unreasonable to not message until the evening, was it? I was legitimately too
busy. She would understand, right? Yet the thought that Eden might get bored
with me only intensified, so I wrote a sentence for the article (“Maybe we
shouldn’t be surprised clowns get up to so much funny business”) and took off
to the toilets.
Neil:
Hi, sorry for the late reply. I kind of collapsed last night and it’s been
hectic today. What do you mean by “Maybe we can change that”? How was your
sleep? Got to go back to work now.
I finished my business and returned to the wonderful
world of clown sex.
At the end of the day, Joe came over to my desk and
leaned over the dividing wall. He asked, “Are you still coming to see Grenade
Shark 3?”
“Oh,” I said.
“Oh? You’ve been hyped all week.”
“Ironically hyped,” I corrected him as I shut down my
computer. Since Eden, Grenade Shark 3 had plummeted to the bottom of my priority
list.
“Irony is dead, but Grenade Sharks are forever.” Joe
stood up. “Like, seriously, I think they have a deal for another ten sequels.
Grenade Sharks will outlast us all.”
I packed away my laptop and told Joe, “Something came
up. I’ll give it a miss this time.” Normally I’d tell Joe about Eden. We’d
laugh about it. He’d suggest I paint a picture, but I didn’t want him to know
just yet.
“Sure. But I’ll definitely spoil it tomorrow.” He
winked and returned to Nancy.
Nancy peered her head in the front door. “Are you all
coming? It’s cold out here.”
“Neil’s got some other business,” Joe told her. He
waved goodbye and exited the building. I gave it a few minutes before I left.
#
Eden:
You’ve been away from me for so long. You’ve all forgotten what life is meant
to be like. There is a path to me now. Do you want to come see me?
I supposed that was her way of asking to meet up. My
fingers hovered over the reply box the whole bus ride home. Again, I had to
wonder if she was dangerous. When the bus reached my stop, I put my phone in my
pocket and avoided it for the rest of day.
If I looked again, I’d say yes. I wasn’t ready for
that.
Instead, I blasted some Meshuggah, threw a ready-meal
pizza in the oven, and watched a pirated version of Grenade Sharks 3. I could
have made it to the theatre, but I’d be rather poor company with my mind so
preoccupied by Eden.
As the film transitioned from its final scene to the
credits, I opened my phone. Turns out the extra messages were from another
match. John, 23. I knew he would be boring like all the others, so I ignored
him, going straight to Eden’s tab.
Neil:
Yes. Could you send me a picture of you first, though?
Eden:
Haha, I already have pics on my profile. But if you want another, that’s no
problem.
A minute later a blurry picture came through. It was
stark silhouette of sharp-edged tree. It rose to the heavens like a weapon. The
lower branches drooped under the weight of the fat fruits they supported, while
its higher branches pointed upwards. The tapered top of the tree just touched
the top edge of the picture.
Eden:
Go to Vicar’s Park. It’s been closed off for now, but it won’t be hard to sneak
in. You’ll know where to go once you’re there.
If I waited, thought about it, I probably wouldn’t go.
Then I saw the message from John again.
John: Hey! I love your eyes. What are you looking for?
Bland. Such messages were the precursor to true
loneliness, the kind that breeds in bad company. The kind you get used to. It
would be my future if I did not go to Eden. So, I threw my jacket on and walked
down along the canal. It was quiet and the moonlight held in the gentle waters
calmed me enough that I began to reconsider.
I stopped just beyond the police tape. Someone was
killed in the park a few days ago. It was all anyone could talk about the
office. I reminded myself that the coward’s path as well trodden—in no small
part by my own feet. So, I climbed under the tape and took a wander around the
park. It was separate enough from the main city that it got appreciably darker towards
the centre. Perhaps I should have texted
Eden.
In the end, I didn’t need to. Up ahead, on the side of
a hill, a faint light caught my eye. Eden? I almost slipped on the wet grass as
I ran towards it.
A thick black sheet covered the hole on the side of
the hill and a halo of light shining out of the edges. Paradise called. I
pulled back the sheet, squinting into what seemed like sunlight, only more
brilliant than any I had known before. I did not see what grabbed my hand and
pulled me through. I did not fight it either.
#
She was beautiful. Curling rivers of dark hair, a
regal hooked nose, swarthy skin. She was fully nude and was comfortable with
the fact.
“Eden?” I asked.
She laughed and beckoned me to sit down next to her
underneath a night-black tree covered in a lace of thin, luminous white vines,
like trails of shooting stars. I sat and took a deep breath of the humid air.
It entered my lungs like it was coming home. I felt bad when I exhaled; how
could I let the remnants of polluted gases inside me out into this paradise?
“Take off your shoes. It’s kinder to the grass.”
I removed them
and placed them against the tree. I surveyed the area. Although I had entered
from a hill, there was sky above me. It was unburdened by smoke or clouds and
was instead dominated by the light of a superior sun. Along the horizon, a
great forest separated the grassy plane and clear sky.
“I’m not Eden.” Of course, she wasn’t. Although she
was among the most attractive people I’ve ever seen, she was also ordinary like
me. “I’m Christine. I’ve been texting you on behalf of Eden, who is just
borrowing my hands.”
“Well, I suppose you know I’m Neil,” I told her. I
stretched my hands gently over the grass. It was thicker, longer, and more
verdant by far than the park’s grass.
Christine lay down, head snuggled into a nook at the
base of the tree. With her eyes closed, I couldn’t help but take a glance at
her more private features. When I felt the erection come on, I looked away.
“So,” I said. “This is Eden? All of this?”
“Everything you can see and more,” Christine replied.
“I wish I brought my notebook. Everything here is so
breath-taking.” A herd of quadrupedal shadows galloped out of the forest. They
were too far away for me to make out exactly what they are. An exotic breed of
deer, perhaps.
“Everything?” Christine asked. Her dark eyes opened
again to look at me, and a sly smile appeared on her lips.
“Yes.” I broke eye contact with her after a little
while. “Sorry. Do I get to talk to Eden? What are you to her? Are there other
people here?”
She let out another cute laugh that sounded almost
like a hiccup. “I see you found your voice. Sure, I’ll explain. At least as far
as I understand it, but interpreting Eden is not an exact science, I’m afraid.”
I gave a little nod, and she went on. “Well, this is the very garden of Eden
from the scriptures. How I found her is a very long story and I will tell you
eventually if you want to stay here forever, but let’s leave that aside for
now. Once I found her, I ate of the Tree of Knowledge and learnt so many
things. Among them, how Eden feels. She was so lonely. Is so lonely. She misses
us—she’s been all alone without anyone to understand her or be understood by
her. I told her that we are unfulfilled too.”
“We?” I asked. I suspected what she meant but did not
want to assume.
“Humanity. We were meant to live here within her but
were denied it.”
“Wait. I’m not sure how to ask this but … well, are
you also dating Eden?” The question broke out of my lips before I could
consider it. Still, I did not regret it.
Christine caressed the trunk of tree as she answered.
“Yes, I suppose you could call it dating. I live with her, make love to her,
share my soul with her. Does that bother you?”
“It doesn’t bother me exactly.” I got up from the
tree, gathered my shoes. “I’m just not sure how I fit into this.” Christine rose
with me. She was almost as tall as me.
“That’s the thing that gives you pause?” Another
hiccup-like laugh. “You can think about it. I’m sorry for putting this on you.”
#
I took the day off work. Unfortunately, it was a dark
and miserable day.
The photo is not the most flattering; I’m squinting against
the sun, while Christine smiles with her arm settled around my waist. If it weren’t for this picture, which
Christine suggested we take before I left, I would not trust my memory. It was
too light out for me to cross the tape into the park again.
That said, the ordinary world seemed almost nocturnal
in comparison to Eden. It depressed me.
In some respects, it was an easy decision, so why was
I hesitating? If Christine dated both Eden and me, what would it really matter?
Eden was a whole world—if I really wanted, I would never see Christine ever
again. It also seemed that perhaps Christine was into me as well. I’d never
considered such a romantic dynamic before, but I’d also never considered dating
a Biblical ecosystem.
As the thoughts circled my head, so I too circled back
Vicar Park. When it got to lunch time, I bought a slice of pizza and sat down
on a bench overlooking the canal. I checked Eden’s latest message.
Eden:
Thanks for coming to see me. It felt right to have you here. If you have any
questions, feel free to ask.
From Christine: I never got to tell you, but I knew
you before Eden matched with you here. I follow your art online. You appreciate
nature so honestly. I think you’d really be suited to be a permanent resident
of Eden. You can understand her. But you will not be the only one who can.
Upon finishing my pizza, I texted back.
Neil:
My questions might be quite blunt. I’m afraid I’m not sure how to be tactful in
this situation.
Eden:
Don’t worry about that :3
There were many questions on my mind, but they came
down to only a few key things.
Neil:
First, I don’t mean to presume you want to date me. Supposing you did, however,
what would that look like, especially if I cannot talk to you directly?
Secondly, what would intimacy be like? Sexual or non-sexual, whatever you’re
comfortable answering. Lastly, I guess you’re looking for an open relationship?
I’m not opposed to the idea exactly. I just want some assurance you’ll have
time for me.
Related to that point, for Christine, are you
potentially into me?
Also, I get the impression you live permanently within
Eden. If I am to move there one day,
what will I be able to do? I’m sorry if this is premature. I’d at least like to
know that there are materials for painting so I can continue my work.
#
Joe came around my place later. He made himself at
home on my couch, eye fixed on the TV as he grinded out levels on a JRPG I’d
not touched in a long time.
“You’ve not set this up efficiently at all. You can
gain experience at least ten times faster.”
I was glad for his company especially because Eden had
yet to reply. Perhaps, despite her assurance, I was too blunt and had now lost
out on my chance at dating paradise. Still, I hadn’t been blocked and there
were other explanations.
“So, I met someone.” Even I was surprised when I said
it.
“Yeah.” He did not take his eyes off the game. I
didn’t say anything more. After a minute, he realized what he heard. “What,
really?” He pressed the pause button and turned to me, a grin forming behind
within his beard.
“Yeah,” I said. “We’ve only met once so far but I
finally found someone who I really want to get to know.”
He came over to me and pulled me close—I let myself be
taken in by the hug. It was a hug-worthy occasion after all. He patted me on
the back stepped away. “Well look at you. All those tears were for nothing
then, just like I said?”
I mumbled. He wasn’t wrong, I suppose, if Eden really
was the one. “I guess not.”
“What are they like? Girl, boy, something else?”
“Girl, I think?” I said after a moment, caught off
guard. Gender wasn’t something I’d considered applying to Eden. “She’s just
fascinating, like no-one I’ve met before. I feel like a future with her would
be exciting.”
Joe held his hands up and laughed a bit. “I’m glad
you’re excited, but it’s a bit early to imagine a future.”
I shrugged. Why was it too early? Wasn’t that the
point of dating?
“Do you have a photo?”
I brought up Eden’s profile up and showed my phone to
Joe. He studied the page for a while as his smile turned into a probing stare.
“What am I looking at here?”
“Eden. The literal Garden of Eden. I met her
yesterday.” I recalled the events of the previous night, and what was troubling
me despite the enthusiasm I felt overall. To his credit, Joe waited until the
end to ask if I was pulling his leg. I showed him the photo of me and
Christine.
“This means nothing to me. Are you sure this girl’s
okay with you sharing her nudes?” He averted his gaze towards my cat-eared wall
clock.
I tried to shrug off the suggestion. “I think she’s a
nudist or something. But she isn’t the focus here. Eden is.”
“Right.” Joe scratched his beard.
“If you want, assume this is all a hypothetical. What
are your thoughts?”
This got Joe to relax. He could never resist a
hypothetical. “Well, I’d say hell no to going out with Eden. You don’t know if
she’s what she says she is. Just because she’s an otherworldly garden of some
kind doesn’t mean she’s the Garden of Eden. She might try to eat you or
something.”
“Noted.” It wasn’t something I considered before. I
had no reason not to believe Eden and I wasn’t sure it even mattered what
manner of being she was. “What about the other issue? The open relationship
thing?”
“That’s hardly
the pressing matter here, is it?” I said nothing, although I didn’t stop
looking at Joe. He was compelled to fill the silence. “Fine. You know Rebecca
from Accounts? Nancy has been seeing her for a few months.”
“Oh.” The surprise appeared on my face before I could
stop it. “Sorry, I just didn’t expect that.”
Joe waved off my apology. “We’re not keeping it a
secret, we’re just not announcing it, you know? I’m also chatting to a person I
met at jazz night.” He sat back down on the couch, his back against the armrest,
and I sat on the opposite end.
“So, it works for you then? The lack of exclusivity?”
A buzz in my pocket. Joe noticed but
made no comment even when I removed my phone to silence it.
“I mean, yeah.” Joe’s eyes crinkled with a satisfied
smile. “I know how Nancy feels about me. Her smooching Rebecca occasionally
doesn’t change that. Why should it?”
Why should it indeed? Did it matter because it would
make me jealous, or was I jealous because it mattered? An image came to me
unbidden: Christine wrapped in loving roots that have come to know her body
well, Eden whispering sweet promises of
eternity and devotion. Christine might ask Eden what she thinks of me, and she’d
say, They’re someone I occasionally smooch. I was the late comer, after
all, the new and unestablished element.
It was about a minute before I realized I’d been
staring at Joe, lost in my thoughts.
“Anyway,” Joe said waving off the topic with a casual
hand motion. “I think what’s more concerning is that you’re galivanting off to
meet with this weirdo at the site of a murder. You might have tampered with
evidence or something. At least meet up somewhere else.”
“Not sure that’s possible,” I told him. “On account of
Eden being an immobile location.” After saying that I realized I did not really
know that Eden was immobile. It didn’t seem worth clarifying.
“Well,” he said as he got up from the couch. “Don’t
say I didn’t warn you. Stay safe, Neil.” He threw away his packet of crisps and
returned his focus to the game.
#
Eden: You’re worried about too much all at once. But I understand. This is
new to you. I think it would be best for us to go on a few dates and come to
understand each other as we are meant to. Just let me know when you’re here and
the way will open for you.
Neil: I’m here.
I stood in front of the patch of grass where the
entrance was. A shining seam split the earth, and then dilated into the hole I
knew. To my surprise, the light did not blind me as it did before. I stepped
inside before I drew any attention. The hole closed behind me. On this side it
was positioned in a much taller hill.
Having had the courtesy shown to me yesterday, I took
of my shoes. The urge to discard the rest of my clothes was strong but I
thought better of it; if I came across Christine, I would inevitably get
aroused. She’d likely wouldn’t judge me for my natural responses, but the
thought mortified me anyway. The same could happen with Eden.
There was no Christine at the tree. I circled it as I
looked out at the world. The herd of quadrupeds was out again—they were closer
than before, motionless this time. I could tell they were not the right shape
to be deer. They faced me. I might have seen a glint in their eyes.
How many eyes did they have?
They scattered all at once leaping back into the
safety of the trees.
A tickle on my foot made me look down. The grass
aligned itself flat to make a path further right towards what looked like a
much thinner forest than the one I’d just seen. It had to be Eden, finally
communicating with me. I followed it until I could see a river among curving
trees. Their wide leaves overlapped to cast a shifting lattice of shadows over
the water; a design that keep it cool even in this supernatural heat. Did this
place have a night at all?
The path kept going to the edge of the water. It was
deeper than I was tall, yet I could see all the way to the pebbles at bottom it
was so clear. There were eels at the bottom too, a thick one and three thin,
long ones. A member of the latter slid up against the larger one—a lover
nuzzling their darling. Then coiling around and rubbing their darling. Then
squeezing their darling in passionate embrace. The eels secreted a wispy white
substance from the points of contact between their two writhing bodies, which floated
to the surface of the formerly clear water, only to be dragged away by the
current.
The other two joined in the orgy, and I couldn’t help
but stare.
Eventually they dispersed. Another path in the grass
directed me downstream, further into the forest towards a place where a piece
of cloth had been fixed along the top of the river. It was bulging with
congealed eel fluids.
“Do you want me to touch this?” I asked. The grass
flattened in the direction of the collector. I crouched and scooped a handful
of cool slime; it was both denser and more slippery than expected. The scent
was almost like Parma violets, and I resisted the mad idea to bite into it.
The grass, Eden, took me away from the river. The
substance in my hands was thick enough to not slip through my fingers, so I had
no trouble carrying the bare patch of forest I was led to. I was directed to
place the eel discharge on a large flat stone in the middle of the patch. I
dumped the main lump in the centre and wiped the rest on the edges. The hard
surface was warm as a body, and understandably so for basking in the light of
the sun.
I savoured the sensation. My muscles let go of their
tension as I caressed the rock.
My heart sped up and I pulled back. The tension
returned. Was I allowed to touch Eden like that? I’d basically been stepping on
her to this point but that was invited. Embarrassment burnt through my
cheeks—there was no hiding it.
I breathed with shakier breath than I anticipated. I
wiped my wet hands on my trousers, and contemplated if Eden had decided I was
now unworthy of her.
A squeaking sound stole my attention. Where it came
from something massive twitched on the forest floor. Another animal? A bear,
maybe. A shock passed through me. I’d always known on some level that I could
be in danger here. Only then did I contemplate what that really meant: I was
alone, in an unreachable and unknown place, at the mercy of something far
beyond my understanding.
Even so, I knew Eden had never done anything to make
me feel unsafe and part of me believed this feeling was unjustified. I made
myself watch the shape until I grew more comfortable with it. Then I took some
tentative steps forward, a way of urging my curiosity to beat back my
trepidation.
As I approached, I picked out the defining features;
the hard angles of three bony arms, a lustrous scaly skin between them, and a
robust legless body that stretched backwards and wrapped around the trees. I
couldn’t see the end of it.
What I thought was squeaking was actually high-pitched
moans.
Was it eating?
I stepped back.
Its long neck snapped up and towards me. There were
too many vertebrae to count. The thing’s skin was taut against the human shaped
skull beneath, and its wet and toothless diamond of a mouth vacillated and
steamed.
It stared at me with its six slitted eyes. They
blinked out of time with each other.
I ran. There was no direction other than away. I did
not protest the decision my legs made and kept up the pace, aiming simply to
put distance between myself and whatever it was. Was I meant to see that?
When the only sound I could hear was the industrious
thump of my own heart I dared to look back.
It followed, slithering its way among the trees with
effortless and silent speed. I knew it could catch me if it really wanted to,
so I came to a stop. It did not lunge, only settled itself down in front of me.
It stretched it neck out until its face was close enough to me that I could
feel its exhaled moisture on my face. Its eyes twitched this way and that as it
scrutinized me.
“What are you doing here, dust?” Whatever it spoke
from was not its mouth since it had no teeth with which to make those sounds.
Yet I could see its entire front now and it had no other orifice save the holes
at the end of two swollen wet penises at its base. I very much doubted it could
speak from those.
“Well?” it asked.
“I’m here to see Eden,” I said. My legs had gone weak
and if it weren’t for the tree behind me to lean on, I’d have fallen to my
knees.
“Mm, so you are,” it replied. A trail of clear mucus
that trailed from its ever-open mouth to the grooves of its ribs. “Allow me to
introduce myself. I am The Serpent.”
A deep breath cleared my head enough to respond. “The
one … who tempted Eve?” It a gentle hissing sound that I eventually recognized
as an approximation of human laughter, only much slower, with too long a gap
between each laugh.
“The very same, dust. Of course, Eve is not the only
one I have tempted.” It reached out slender fingered hand and touched my cheeks
with its cool black claw. “You face is as red as a pomegranate.”
It thought I was horny? The idea seemed bizarre until
I noticed an ache between my legs. How long had I been erect? Certainly not
while I was running, so it must have occurred within the past minute, in the
presence of The Serpent. Perhaps I was, in fact, aroused by it.
It was not such a strange thought. No stranger than
contemplating copulation with The Garden of Eden. I was unable to look away
from The Serpent not just because it was fascinating but because it brought me
pleasure to follow the flow and contours of its body, to gaze into its
salivating mouth and wonder how it would feel against my own. Or if I let my
eyes drift the other way and get caught on its impressive lower appendages—they
were too large for practical use, yes, but that made the sight of them bobbing
in time with its breathing all the more entrancing.
“Now you must make a choice.” As my knees went weak
The Serpent’s steadied me by placing two of its hands the back of my head and
middle of my back. “Should I fertilise you, or will you donate your seed to me?
Before you answer, know that I have never entered someone with your anatomy.”
I blinked slowly in sync with the upper two of The
Serpent’s eyes. I couldn’t deny that I wanted it inside me; the thought of
being left ruined and gasping on the forest floor caused my heartrate to
increase. “P- please,” I started saying and undoing my belt. But while I wanted
that now I still had to get back. “The latter, please.”
The Serpent let out that slow laughter again. “A
sensible choice.”
My hands seemed to act automatically even if it was
according to my own desires. They undid my belt and my trousers fell below my
knees and crumbled at my feet. The Serpent lifted me betraying a hint of effort
and pushed my back into a smooth-barked tree. It dragged my trousers off and
brought its cold mouth between my legs. It was refreshing on my hot organ. A
little sound escaped my throat—The Serpent paid it no mind. Not even my
squirming as its throat constricted and massaged me distracted it from its task.
I ejaculated into The Serpent. “Give me it all,” it
demanded. A trickle of blood dripped from where its nails dug into my back,
falling between my butt cheeks and then to the ground.
It did not let me down for at least an hour. It seemed
that every orgasm was longer than the previous until they were overlapping. The
world became a backdrop to the cycles of pleasure that washed over me.
#
The Serpent was kind enough to show me the way back.
We paused at the rock where I had placed the eel fluids. It picked up what was
now a solid off-white lump. “Did you do this?” it asked me.
“Yes? I thought Eden asked me to.” I stepped closer to
the rock. Each step sent a twinge of pain to my overexerted prostate.
It handed the lump to me. The texture was rough and
flexible, like crude paper. A grin spread across my face. Eden had answered my
question; there was paper here, I could create art.
“You smile. Did you take the aphrodisiac intentionally
then?” The Serpent loomed over me, so I had to strain my head to look up it.
“Huh?” I asked.
“No then?” It placed its hand on the side of my face
again. “No matter. Tell me, though, what did you think?”
I hadn’t had a chance to think about it. The whole
ordeal, perhaps including the aphrodisiac eel fluids, had left me in a daze
that was only just wearing off. “Upon reflection, I’m honoured to have an
experience like that.”
The Serpent lowered its face to press its wet maw
against mine for a moment then pulled back. “Good. The eels’ fluids only
enhance desires you already have.” It released my head. “I will leave you for
now. If you desire a more intense experience next time, perhaps you would like to
be the vessel for my seed instead.”
It slithered away back into the depths of the forest.
As I went to place the substance back on the rock, I
noticed a little wooden pot filled with a kaleidoscope of berries and carved
stick next to it. I spent the next few hours embraced by Eden’s warm grass, sketching
her. How could I capture her splendour? The harmony between the leaves of the
canopy and cloudless sky, the way the heat distorted the air? Even has my hand
began to cramp, I kept going, lest the inspiration fade.
#
“That’s why I was late,” I said. I took a long sip of
water. I’d run straight from Eden to the office when I realized how long I’d
been out. I wasn’t sure if time moved differently in our two worlds or if my
lyrical trance had skewed my perception.
“Is this for an article or something?” Joe asked as he
poured water into his mug. His brow creased in concern. “I Pretended to Be
Insane For A Week: Here’s What Happened?”
“No,” I told him. “Although that would be pretty
good.” I recalled the memory of Christine’s hand on my arm and smiled.
Nancy popped in a moment later. “Oh hi,” she says to
me. “What on Earth happened to you?”
“I had sex with The Serpent from Genesis,” I said.
“Joe can tell you the rest of the story.”
Nancy blinked slowly. “… right. Anyway, there’s
someone—”
A loud HONK cut her off then a clown dressed in
violently clashing colours entered the room, his fuzzy purple hair brushing the
doorframe.
“I’ve been waiting for like two hours,” the clown
announced. Only then did I notice he was not wearing a shirt; the patchy
pattern was painted onto his bare skin. “What’s the hold up?”
“Oh no,” I muttered. I went towards the clown and
clasped my hands together apologetically. “Sorry, uh, what’s your name?”
“Dr. Giggles?” For a moment he sounded offended, but I
expected he was just confused. After all, we had been emailing for the past few
weeks.
“Yes, of course. Sorry, I’m having a hectic day. Can
you still do the interview today or would you like to reschedule?” I motioned
him out of the staff room as Nancy and Joe exchange grins.
“Still got time.” He pulled a cookie out of his baggy
pants and took a bite. “Want one?”
I shook my head. “Appreciated, but no thank you.” We
went to the meeting room at the other end of the main office space. Once we had
seated ourselves, I checked if there was anything else scheduled and
fortunately it was still free for a while and the camera was still set up and
ready to go.
“Have you signed the forms?” I asked.
“Yep,” the clown said. I didn’t bother to check at the
admin desk. I just patted my hair to a somewhat more reasonable shape and hit
the record button. I found my list of questions and began the introduction.
“Hello, I’m Neil Fife and I’m here today with Mr.
Giggles—”
“Dr. Giggles, actually,” the well-educated clown
corrected as he adjusted his bulbous red nose.
I knew I’d make that mistake. “Yes, sorry. I’m here
with Dr. Giggles, a clown sex-worker and accomplished pianist. So, let’s dive
right into it. Are you really a doctor?”
“Yes,” I am Giggles answered. “I got my PhD in organic
chemistry five years ago.” He rubbed his eyes then took another bite of his
cookie.
“Quite the career trajectory,” I commented. “Is there
some kind of organic chemist to sexy-clown pipeline?”
This got a laugh out of Dr. Giggles. I didn’t think it
was that funny, but he just kept laughing. We’d have to cut some of that.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah—ha aha—no worries.” He took a deep breath and
suppressed his fit. “No, I’m the only one I know. I’d say it’s a very viable
career path. It was either that or taking a postdoc and well … it was clownery
either way.”
I offered him a laugh of my own, and a polite nod.
“Why the sex, though? Is there really that big a market?”
Before he could say anything, a bronze light washed
over the room. The clown and I both turned our heads to the window.
“Dude, I should not have had those edibles,” the good
doctor announced. Cookie crumbs dropped from his lips.
The thing outside the window beat the upper pair of
its massive wings with a slowness that should not have been able to keep its
shimmering form afloat. It had three heads that I could see—a lion facing left
and an ox facing right. Its front face watched me. I’d say it was a human’s
face, but it was too still and lifeless, like a mask atop something I was
unworthy of seeing.
Its lower set of wings unfolded revealing an oversized
hand whose slender fingers were descended past the edge the window frame. The
wings drew further back until they could no longer.
Then it flapped.
Glass exploded inwards. An impact on my back knocked
the breath from my lungs. The world was too quiet before a ringing emerged from
silence. When I opened my eyes, I saw ceiling. I bolted up right, cutting my
hand on the fragments that had accumulated around and on top of me.
The angel was gone.
#
Joe and Nancy tried to convince me I hadn’t seen what
I’d seen—that the clown’s edibles had made me hallucinate things and it was
probably just a gas leak and explosion. But I hadn’t eaten any, most of the
glass had been blown inwards, and, most importantly, the camera survived. When
I showed them, I knew they both believed me even if they still denied it. After
all, I’d had no time to tamper with the camera; it was set up by an intern.
Joe wanted to take it, but I refused, ran right out of
the office back to my home to tend to the holy cuts on my arms, hands, and
face.
The angel hadn’t spoken, but I knew it was a warning.
I told Eden what happened.
Eden: I’m sorry. I never meant for this to happen to you. You must be
shocked. I know this but I must ask something of you. If the cherubs have
noticed you, then they will have noticed Christine too. It is best if we leave
before they separate me from humanity again. If you wish, we would gladly have
you come with us. If it is too soon for you to decide, I understand. Let me
know as soon as possible.
Neil: Wait for me. Please. I’ll be there.
I threw on my coat and hurried out the door into the
dusk. There was no time for provisions. There was nothing to gain by staying,
separated from Eden who had made me feel so much in so short a time. The run to
Vicar Park left me panting. I didn’t slow down as I made my way towards the
hill.
Someone shouted my name.
Joe.
He kept calling out to me as I shot through a section
of forest I would usually walk around. I battered through branches and trampled
on twigs until I burst out of the trees. My heaven shone out at me, a luminous
and welcoming hole in the world.
My tired legs and breathlessness were forgotten; I
headed straight for it.
Something red flashed before me. I stumbled backwards.
The cherub floated higher than the hill, hand rested on the hilt of a massive
sword enveloped in furious flames. The blade blocked the entirety of the
entrance to Eden which was now surrounded by charred grass.
I went forward, hoping to slip between the gap.
The heat was far more intense than I anticipated—even
two meters away my skin began to burn and blister. I drew back. I’d die before
I even reached the entrance.
“Let me through! What do you want from me?”
The angel titled its head so slightly and I felt its
gaze like a leaden layer.
When it spoke, all other sounds were silenced. “Wicked
one who covets with the damned and banished, you will not enter The Garden. You
have not heeded the warning of Heaven. Give thanks to the Lord who has granted
you a second mercy. Listen now. Walk back the path you came, and do not leave
your abode for thirty days. Repent, repent, repent and be forgiven.”
“Fuck you,” I spat. It evaporated quickly in the
corona of holy fire surrounding the sword.
I didn’t notice Joe had come up behind me until he put
his hand on my shoulder. I recoiled and sneered at him.
“Easy, Neil,” Joe cautioned. He wasn’t even looking at
me. His eyes were transfixed on the angel. “I don’t think you want to make an
enemy of something like that.”
“I’ll make an enemy out of anyone and anything I
please,” I told him. “Why do you insist on following me here?”
Joe ignored the question and motioned back with his
thumb. “Let’s get a drink and talk about this elsewhere.”
It took me a moment to respond. The suggestion made no
sense. “Why would I do that?” I asked. “I’m leaving this all behind one way or
another.”
He reached out for my arm, and I drew it back—and felt
at once the searing heat behind me. “You’re not making sense, Neil. What did
they do to you in there? You were happy before this.”
I scoffed. “Happy? No, I didn’t even know what
happiness was.”
“Neil—,” Joe tried.
I turned from him again towards the angel which was
now ignoring us.
“Let me through or strike me down.”
It did not respond. I tore up clumps of grassy dirt
and hurled them at the sword which quickly dried out and fell short of their
target. I screamed, “Let me through or strike me down!” I lowered my pants and
pissed ammoniac hatred towards it. It ignored me. I heard police sirens in the
distance.
“It’s really over, Neil,” Joe told me. “I’ll be
waiting in my car when you’re ready.” He walked away.
Eden was so close—the hole still shone. If I did not
get through now, I’d never explore Eden and write an epic about her, never feel
The Serpent’s electric touch again, and never bask in the sun with Christine.
The angel blurred in my teary vision. I took a few steps backwards—then
charged. Maybe I’d survive if I was fast enough. My wet eyes dried instantly,
and my face erupted into a hundred defiant blisters. The air burnt my lungs.
Only a meter away from the sword.
At least I could say I tried.
Something pulled me back into the cool grass. For a
moment, I thought Joe had returned but when the grip was different. The
Serpent—no, something like The Serpent—stood above me. The black-scaled thing
had four dark brown eyes placed seemly at random around its lopsided mouth,
which was overburdened with twisted human teeth. It was one of the quadrupeds
from before, except now it was standing on its hind legs. This close, I could
see that these also ended in hands. It pointed a long finger towards to a space
just behind the angel.
More of its kind emerged from behind the hill. They
hissed and growled and screamed with child-like voices at the angel. It paid
them no heed. They sprung up, far higher than I expected, and within moments
had swarmed its body. They tore out feathers and scratched at its many eyes. A
pair pulled with all their might on the horns of the ox head.
That head reacted first—its bellow shook the ground,
reverberated through my bones until they hurt. I huddled down and covered my
covered my ears (although that did very little to block it out). Soon after,
all the voices cried out together. The angel spun and flapped its wings which
sent a smattering of the creatures to the ground. They brushed this fall off
like it was nothing and once again resumed their assault.
The relentless things gouged out all of its eyes and
lapped at the bloody holes. Despite this, the angel did not fly away. It screamed
a rage so loud that it shook the Earth, yet still it held its position until the
creatures stripped it of its feathers and chewed large holes into the wing-skin
beneath.
The cherub flapped with a desperation unbecoming of
its holy status yet could do naught but slowly careen towards the ground.
My strange saviours dragged its body, still holding
the sword, far enough that the entrance to Eden was finally opened to me.
“Thank you,” I told them before I left the world behind.
#
Christine hugged me as tight as she could, despite her
newly swollen belly. I tried to say something. I wasn’t even sure what I was
going to say. She shushed me, took my hand, and led me to a little pond. I
undressed myself and slid inside. The cool waters soothed my burns at once,
even in places I hadn’t realized the flames had touched me.
My eyes closed and must have stayed that way a long
while because when they opened again, the Garden was finally growing dim.
“Feeling better?” Christine asked. She and The Serpent
were playing chess just in front of the pool.
“Yeah.” I said and dragged myself onto land. I reached
for my clothes then thought better of it. The Serpent beckoned I sit by it, so
I took a place leaning against it. My body felt heavy leaving the water and I
welcomed the firm support. “I can’t believe I’m here.”
Christine lay next to me, took my hand in hers, and
whispered to my ear, “We wouldn’t leave you behind.”
I squeezed her hand with my left, and I ran my right
over the robust green grass. “What happened?”
“What just happened was a miracle of our own making,”
Christine said as her fingers traced along my palm. “It is best if Eden
explains it to you. When you’re ready, we’ll go see her.”
We lay together a while longer.
#
The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil rose to the
heavens like a weapon, a spear aimed at the many unblinking eyes of God that blotted
this portion of Eden’s sky.
Its trunk was thicker than my apartment building. One
of the branches lowered itself to place a hefty fruit in front of me. It took a
long time to break through the rough, red outer layer and longer still to peel
away the inner flesh which was threaded with what I could only describe as twisting
veins. Once I got to the core, more than halfway in, my hands were stained, and
my fingernails were stuffed with pulp.
In the centre there was something wrinkled and grey. I
pushed my fingers into the buttery substance, scooped some out, and sucked it
down.
A gaunt man and malnourished woman in simple clothes
enter a bright garden encircled by high metal gates. There are no other humans
in this place. Cautious at first, they make a basic shelter in the trees and
keep watch the whole night. As time passes, they dare to explore. They gorge
themselves on plump and vibrant fruits each sweeter than the last. They smile
at each other. As the years pass, their bodies fill out. They enjoy The Garden
for a longer time than humans are meant to live. They are happy.
Someone comes to the gates which have long since
closed. She speaks in the First Tongue and asks to be let in. The man and woman
try their best but fail to open the gates. Apologizing, they pass her fruits.
More people accumulate outside, enticed by the abundant food.
After a few days, an impossible combination of man and
beasts descends from the ever-shining skies, and scares the crowd away. It
tells the couple The Garden is not to be shared—it is their gift alone. They
protest but it does not listen. They scream at it as it leaves.
Despite this, people once again come to eat of The
Garden’s fruits. The couple help, albeit more discreetly. They warn the
newcomers of what happened—caution them to come one at a time. It does not
help.
The Cherub descends again, armed with a flaming sword.
It slaughters the crowd.
The couple refuses to eat. When hunger pangs tempt
them, they stare at the incinerated bodies surrounding The Garden and their
resolve is restored. Over time, they decay to their formerly gaunt selves and
as they waste away surrounded by the greatest store of food ever seen on Earth,
the angel descends once more and agrees to never again hurt a person. It does
not open the gates.
The couple eats again and sneaks out what they can to
those on the outside.
Around this time, something slithers out from a deep
forgotten part of the dense forest within The Garden. It holds in one of its
six hands a spherical pink seed. It shows the woman where to plant the
seed—right below the largest of the eyes that watch them in the night. “It will
grow tall and sharp and blind the unblinking watcher. Then you may share The
Garden once again.” In return, it asks to copulate with her.
She plants the seed and tells her partner.
Her belly swells as fast as the tree grows. The angel,
knowing not of human anatomy, not knowing how unnaturally fast the pregnancy
is, congratulates the woman and man on their successful conception. It is then
that it notices the unusual tree. It calls it unclean and demands the couple
uproot it.
“The garden belongs to you, and I am not permitted to
alter it,” it tells them when they ask why it won’t remove the tree itself.
The couple refuses. No matter how many times they are
asked, they do not yield. And so, the angel remains in the garden and repeats
its demands. A such, when the woman’s belly grows fit to burst, The Serpent
cannot take her to where she might give birth in secret.
A day passes and the angel returns to the couple
nursing the reptilian child.
“You have squandered the Lord’s gift, welcomed
something unclean inside you, and you will now walk the barren Earth forever
wishful of the fruits of The Garden. Your child will be cursed to crawl on the
ground.” And so, the angel attempts to strike the limbs from the child, but it
finds itself unable—for the child is part human and to do so would break the
promise it had made to the couple.
Thus, all three are banished from Eden.
My head hurt. The afterimages of what I witnessed
faded slowly from my mind. I knew why the angel had not fought back now. I
tipped the fruit towards my mouth and let more of the grey matter fall down my
throat.
Christine breaks into a house and lets a family with
worn out eyes inside. The action is practiced. She does it again and again
until an old lady she doesn’t notice calls the police on her. She’s arrested,
jailed, and fired from her library job.
She devotes herself to her most important work. She
pours over crumbling yellow notes—she practices drawing the symbols within them
and reading the chants in a language she’s never heard of before, but which
feels more natural in her mouth than any other. When she is ready, she goes to
her friend Thomas’s mouldy apartment where she finds him in alcoholic stupor.
She tells him that he can become the doorway to a new world. Thomas nods as if
he understands. Christine drives him deep into the countryside and takes him to
a rockface by a river. She tells him to strip to press his back to the rock.
Christine draws the symbols she memorized on his bare
body, and he is silent the whole time. She thanks him and slits is throat from
below the chin to the space between the collarbones. Light pours out of the gap
as it widens and splits both the man and the rock behind him apart. Christine
steps through the opening.
The Serpent greets her. She’s afraid at first, but its
subtle charms disarm her. It does not know her even if once knew someone like
her. She knows of it, though, and they spend a long time talking. Eventually,
it tells her this: “Copulate with me and produce a great many children. One
day, they will climb the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, tear through the
unblinking watcher, and bring down the heavens which have forsaken your kind.”
She agrees and over a few months, Eden is populated
with a new species.
My mouth was dry, my face pressed into the grass. The
fruit had rolled a few meters away. The last bit of fruit had not yet spilled
out. I crawled over to it and buried my head into the pulp, licked it out and
the final vision burned through my mind.
Christine stays with someone she meets on OkCupid, a
woman called Noelle, who lives in a distant city and enjoys art and tea.
Christine earns her keep doing freelance work,
cooking, and occasionally making love to Noelle. Over the course of the next
year, she reveals, slowly, almost all that happened. Christine emphasizes the
beauty of Eden, the peace one feels there, and the need for humanity to return.
Noelle thinks it’s all a bit of eccentric fun; she rather likes having such a
strange roommate. When Christine asks Noelle to come see Eden for herself,
Noelle agrees in heartbeat.
She takes her
to Eden’s first doorway by the rockface and Noelle almost falls to her knees
when she realizes all that she has been told is true. They spend almost a week
exploring the strangest corners of Eden, and this is when Christine reveals
what she had done to Thomas. When they return to Noelle’s town, they take a
walk through a little park that has become so pitiful in Noelle’s eyes compared
to Eden. Christine asks her if she’s willing to become an entrance like Thomas
did.
“Will I die?”
“In a sense. In another, you’ll be a part of Eden.
You’ll become something different.”
Noelle agrees on the condition Christine does it there
and then before she can change her mind. She strips, presses herself against
the cold grass of a steep hill, and lets Christine make a vertical slit in her
throat. The second doorway to Eden opens and Christine returns to The Serpent.
A week later, she joins Tinder and matches with a man
called Neil Fife, who happens to be one of Noelle’s favourite artists.
